The POYO-est Pick Up Line So Far….
Pada dua minggu yang lepas, saya telah menghantar adik saya ke lapangan terbang Subang kerana beliau ingin pulang ke Kota Bharu menaiki Firefly.
Ketika beliau sedang duduk-duduk sambil bermain handphone, ada seorang lelaki menegur beliau seraya berkata:
“Fuh. Ni first time saya naik kapal terbang orang lain yang bawak. Biasanya saya bawak sendiri.”
Huh?
“Oh.. saya pilot kat TUDM.”
Ooh. OK.
Selepas itu, lelaki itu terus bercerita mengenai kapal terbang dan hal2 sewaktu dengannya.
Cerita-cerita itu sungguh mengelirukan adik saya dan membuat beliau terasa bohjan bohsan. Mungkin dia berpendapat bahawa kerjayanya dicemburui ramai dan semua orang berminat untuk mendengar penerangan yang tidak diundang mengenai enjin dan sayap mengenai kapal terbang Tentera Udara Malaysia sebagaimana syoknya rakyat Malaysia mendengar penerangan Sheikh Muzaffar mengenai angkasa lepas.
Lelaki itu juga menawarkan diri untuk duduk di sebelah adik saya dalam kapal terbang fokker itu, tetapi adik saya cuma kata boleh blah la mamat poyo senyum sahaja kerana tidak sampai hati berterus-terang dengan lelaki tersebut.
Ish..ish..ish…
POYO sungguh pick up line dia..Ni mesti tak pernah baca blog saya nih…
Aku TENSION!!!
I’m so stressed out.
Dah lama aku tak tension macam ni…
Tension gilaaa!
Sekian, terima kasih.
Ok dah dah gi sambung kerja nuh….
Tak Habis-habis dengan Problem Bhi-Bhik
Several weeks ago, aku bangun pagi and hantar Adam turun ke tingkat bawah sebab nak suruh dia mandi before gi school. Tiba-tiba maid aku bagitahu :
“Ibu, saya nak nikah.”
Gulp.
Apa dia? Aku dahla tengah mamai lagi ni…apakah aku sedang bermimpi satu mimpi buruk di pagi yang hening ini?
“Kamu nak kawin dengan sapa?”
Dia kata dgn pakwe dia yg dia kenal kat rumah boss lama dia dulu. Pastu nak mintak balik 2 minggu sekali ke rumah kongsi balak dia after dah kawin.
“Hari tu saya bagi kamu pakai handphone kamu dah janji takkan ada boyfriend etc, sekarang lain pulak cerita.”
Pastu aku nampak muluit dia gerak2 tapi aku tak pasang telinga apa dia cakap because those words are just shit.
“Takpe, nanti saya bincang dgn bapak dulu.”
Every moring after that she would harrass me whether aku dah discuss dgn Nazri ke belum, siap hantar SMS lagi kat aku bila aku tak layan dia. Dia cakp nak gi Shah Alam weekend tu nak bincang dgn boyfren, and dia nak duit gaji dia. Aku kena call agent, call mak ayah dia kat Indon, call boss lama dia (sebab nak clarify some stories). Ada ke dia bgth agent aku bagi permission dia utk kawin, pastu dia bagth aku yang agent kata dia boleh quit after one year kerja. B***H ( if you can fill in the *** it can be 2 different words).
Jumaat petang tu after confirm dgn agent aku (agent aku kena ‘basuh’ dia dulu), aku pulak ‘basuh’ dia. Pokoknya aku bgth kalau nak balik, kena byr gantirugi. If nak kerja, no more HP.
Esok pagi dia kata “ok buk, ‘abang’ (UWEK!) kata kerja dulu lepas 2 tahun kontrak baru kawin.”
Ok la, settle. HP surrendered.
Pagi tadi dia bagitahu nak call mak dia kat Indon. Pastu dok meleleh-leleh cakap ‘abang’ (ptui!) ada perempuan lain. Mula2 orang lain cakap dia tak percaya, bila adik lelaki tu sendiri yg cakap baru dia percaya.
KAN AKU DAH CAKAP KAT KAU! NASIB BAIK KO BELUM KAWIN DENGAN DIA!
“Tapi Buk, Atik nak minta telefon, mau cakap dgn mak adik bla bla bla…”
Silence. Dalam hati aku tak reti-reti lagi ke dia ni!
“Kamu telefon mama kamu. Pukul 10am kejap lagi saya akan telefon kamu, kamu kena buat keputusan mahu kerja sama saya lagi ke tak.”
10 am. Mama dia suruh balik tenangkan fikiran.
Baliklah nkau. I’VE HAD ENOUGH!
Kena cari bibik baru pulak…tension betul otak aku…
Meeting with VC
Yesterday the faculty had a meeting with our new VC.
Suffice to say that we all very really truly officially became the slave to the THES ranking….
The VC said his only KPI is to ensure that UM is in the top 200 within the next 2 years and later in top 100.
Everybody must have a PhD, conduct world-class research and publish in top journals.
Social responsibility? What is it? Uh uh not important coz the nothing is mentioned about it the THES ranking criteria.
Your students? Huh, what about your students? Yeah yeah be an excellent teacher whatever, just make sure you do your research between classes and meetings and marking and filling in your ISO forms and ‘retreat’ and seminars and conferences and workshops. and don’t forget to write about your research. Apa, susah sangat ke nak menulis artikel and buku?
Must recruit the First Class students as our staff because we believe that they can do better research than those who got 2nd Class Upper and joined various activities. Never mind if they don’t mingle with other people or they are bad teachers or used to be so kiasu when they were students - we want them!
The point is this : To hell with everything else. MUST IMPROVE OUR RANK.
*sigh*
Was utterly disappointed. Have never been THIS disappointed about UM before. Never thought we are supposed to be THIS shallow. Where is the spirit?
Maybe I should also migrate to Australia soon…
Woman jailed after ‘killing’ virtual husband
A 43-year-old player in a virtual game world became so angry about her sudden divorce from her online husband that she logged on with his password and killed his digital persona, police said.
The woman, who has been jailed on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, used his ID and password to log onto the popular interactive game “Maple Story” to carry out the virtual murder in May, a police official in the northern city of Sapporo said Thursday. He spoke on condition of anonymity because of department policy.
“I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry,” the official quoted her as telling investigators and admitting the allegations.
The woman, a piano teacher, had not plotted any revenge in the real world, the official said.
She has not yet been formally charged. If convicted, she could face up to five years in prison or a fine up to US$5,000.
Players in “Maple Story” create and manipulate digital images called “avatars” that represent themselves, while engaging in relationships, social activities and fighting monsters and other obstacles.
In virtual worlds, players often abandon their inhibitions, engaging in activity online that they would never do in the real world. For instance, sex with strangers is a common activity.
The woman used login information she got from the 33-year-old office worker when their characters were happily married to kill the character. The man complained to police when he discovered that his online avatar was dead.
The woman was arrested Wednesday and taken 620 miles (1,000 kilometers) from her home in southern Miyazaki to be detained in Sapporo, where the man lives, the official said.
The police official said he did not know if she was married in the real world.
Bad online behavior is usually handled within the rules set up by online worlds, which can ban miscreants or take away their virtual possessions.
In recent years, misbehavior in the virtual world has in some cases had consequences in reality.
In August, a woman was charged in the U.S. state of Delaware with plotting the real-life abduction of a boyfriend she met through the virtual reality Web site “Second Life.”
In Tokyo, a 16-year-old boy was charged with stealing the ID and password from a fellow player of an online game in order to swindle virtual currency worth US$360,000.
Akakakakaka!
How Do You handle a Break Up?
Break up.
Heartache.
Heartbreak.
Whatever you call it, it hurts.And it hurts like hell, depending on how much you like or love the other person. You cry and you cry and you don’t eat, you can’t sleep unless you’ve been so tired from crying. Heartache can be caused not just from having a break up with a person, but also from seeing the other person being together with someone else instead of you. Can you imagine seeing the person you secretly admire with another girl or boy in front of your very eyes, every single day?
And it does not help to listen to Engelbert Humperdinck’s Am I That Easy To Forget, either.
The problem with men is they want a beautiful, sexy girlfriend but in the end, most of them want to settle down with a saint. If I were the girlfriend, I’d be screaming in pain!
Your heart really really takes a long time to heal. Some people may be ok after 4-5 days, some take years to get over the experience of being dumped. It’s natural. It shouldn’t happen but it happens, for a reason. So what if you’ve wasted 10 years of your life with him? At least you’ve got to know the real him before you are trapped in an unhappy marriage, and most of my friends found their true love or jodoh eventually. It just a matter of time….
In the end, we all have to get over it and learn how to love again….
Tips in Handling a Break Up:
1. Go out with your friends. Watch a movie. Go on a holiday.
2. Stop being critical of yourself. It’s not you - IT’S HIM/HER!
3. Rebound on a new car. It usually works- hahaha! Don’t ever rebound on another person.
4. Start to evaluate on how to improve yourself this usually make the other person ‘gila talak’, somehow.
5. Enjoy your single life again! At least you’ve got the chance to fall in love again..remember how sweet nad wooonndeerfuull it felt?
Any other tips?