Last Sunday was my 28th birthday.

Thanks to Sue, Yati and Suzanna for the wonderful lunch that we had at De’ Chiangmai Restaurant, for the thoughtful gifts and for the fattening, yummy & happiness-inducing Baskin Robbins cake. Needless to say it was one of the best birthday celebrationS I’ve ever had. Thanks gals!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes too!

And thanks to hubby for the wonderful gift.

It’s so funny that I’ve turned 28 because this is the first time I actually realize that I’m still in my 20’s. I thought I’ve reached my thirties years ago. Honestly. Sebab tu aku tak marah bila budak2 panggil aku ‘makcik’ kat pasar.

In other words - I felt old.

Ever since I got married and had my precious Adam, I’ve always acted and felt old (not necessarily matured). The focal point of my life is my family, and also my students. I no longer focus on my career development, my appearance and my own life. I don’t feel like a woman; I feel like a mother. I feel guilty of having to stay back at work to do my dissertation, although my brain works best in the evening. It’s so hard to juggle family life and work. Seriously, I have no idea how my lecturers & my friends who’ve studied overseas managed to complete their thesis on time, with children and all… I suspect less blogging, more work.

As I approached my 28th birthday, I realized I’ve become one of them ; women who let themselves go.

Before I got married, I’ve always wanted to wear nice clothes at home for my hubby (and for me), but since I got a maid i felt that it’s a bit inappropriate. I’ve settled for my kaftans. Same thing in life. I’ve always settled for something less; I just don’t have the energy, the spirit and the confidence anymore. People tend to judge you if you are a married woman and a mother. Having a ‘ME’ time is like a sin. That’s why women tend to drift apart from their girlfriends after they got married. I mean, I’m lucky enough to have a maid to look after my children when I’m away but the guilty feeling is still there. You know la, nanti orang tanya “Ni keluar makan dengan kawan-kawan ni suami tak marah ke? Anak-anak sapa jaga?”. Ish ish ish… Bad wife. Bad mother. Nak letak muka sendiri kat FB or Frenster pun rasa guilty. Nak kena letak gambar anak-anak baru rasa proper. *sigh*. You see? I’m acting old kan?

But I’m thankful for my family and friends. I wouldn’t trade them for anything else in this world. It’s just me. I’ve got to have that ‘anjakan paradigma’ towards my own life.

Screw the maid - I’m wearing my shorts from now on.

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT MAAL HIJRAH

AND

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Late dinner. Dining room. Tinggal me and Adam tengah makan kaki kambing yang rupanya macam kaki Mr. Tumnus from Narnia.

I was having a conversation with Adam. He was telling me about his trip to KB, how he met a distant relative whom he really likes. Her name was Alia and she’s 3 years older than him.

Me    : Adam suka kat Kak Alia ke?

Adam: Mummy, Adam nak bisik kat telinga mummy.

Me   : Ok Adam bisik kat mummy.

He moved closer to me.

Adam : Mummy, sebenarnya Adam nak mummy.

Me    : (terharu….) Auww…Adam sayang mummy ke? Mummy pun sayang Adam jugak….

Adam: Taklah mummy, Adam nak makan Mamee kat belakang mummy tu.

You all know how I felt, right?

Had a blast last night with Yutty and Sue. Maklumlah my life ni takde la happening, so a night at Wendy’s is considered as ‘wild’ la tu and pagi tadi kira ada hangover la tu bila tak larat nak bangun and sakit2 kepala sikit.

Before I forget…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SUE!!!

Sweet err, 24. Hehehe!

I went to see a dentist this morning, she was highly recommended in a forum. For the first time in my life, I hardly felt any pain. Gila bagus dia ni. So gentle and cool…. The last time I had my tooth extracted was in primary school. It wasn’t a good experience, and my previous dentist was not really good. Membebel aje kerja dia - about how our society refuse to see dentist bla bla bla… scalling pun bukan thorough sangat. Sebab tu la orang taknak jumpa kau! Anyway my wisdom tooth needed to be extracted because it was jamming my other tooth, dulu aku nak buat kat KB dentist tu tak boleh buat because takde X-ray and risky, kat sini senang aje dia buat on the spot. Gigi bawah kena x-ray dulu, later kena remove and buat minor surgery. Gigi aku dah rapat2 sangat, because I still have all 32 teeth in place. Now I have 31, next year nanti 30. I must confess I still feel nervous everytime I see a dentist - the four-times trips to the ladies proved it.

Cant help but wondering why my 8-month old son still haven’t got any tooth yet? Normal ke tuh? Hmmm….

Till next time,

You know how some people think that they know us but they don’t?

For example:

1. When somebody ask you a question, she/he would answer it for you (memandai-mandai), and it’s a wrong answer. Excuse me, if I want anybody to speak on my behalf I’ll hire someone who has a good communication skill. So shut up.

2. People who would pretend to ask you a question but they had already made up their mind on what the answer should be. Contohnya:

Orang tu: Kenapa you quit TKC dulu?

Aku: Sebab…..

Orang tu: Alaa homesick la tu, memang homesick. Toksah cakap la, you homesick. Homesick homesick homesick bla bla bla….

OR in another situation:

Orang tu:  Kenapa miss flight balik KB hari tu?

Aku: Sebab…..

Orang tu: Alaa ni mesti semua yang nak naik plane tu bangun lambat, tak sembahyang Subuh belaka (and then forward it to everybody else so that everybody would believe the statement. TWICE.)

I mean, seriously, why bother asking me if you had already made up you freaking mind?